The abyss

My yearly MS check-up a year ago, was a short one, my doctor asked me about MS-related complaints, and I couldn’t think of any. The situation has been the same for years now, so I don’t have to come back unless new symptoms should occur. He said I should keep on living the way I did, and not change things too much. That was great news! I felt relieved, for there would be no more yearly check-ups.

But this disease is fickle, it is a bit like walking along the edge of an abyss. You have to keep your balance. I seem to be quite good at that, but keeping your balance when you have a chronic disease is the result of making lots of little lifestyle choices. It seems straightforward advice, to just continue as you did before, but little changes may creep in unnoticed, and disturb the balance. So, for years on end, I kept turning up for my yearly check-up. It felt reassuring, although that check-up usually was just a short conversation.

Before I got MS, I knew a disease could suddenly change my life, it had happened to friends of mine, who thought to be in perfect health, and then suddenly, fell ill. The same happened to me.

Out of the blue, I faced a degenerative disease. So, since then, the danger of deterioration is real to me. At the moment I feel fine, but I am not carefree. I still walk along that same abyss, carefully, but I enjoy the view and know that I’m lucky with my health, as it is.

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